J. Courtney Sullivan is one of my “auto-buy” authors (okay, “auto-borrow,” since I use the library), so the minute I heard about Friends and Strangers, I added it to my “must read list”.
I’ve read all the books written by this author, but Friends and Strangers is my favorite since her debut novel, Commencement. Maybe because this new book contains threads of her first — the college age storyline, the coming of age factor, and the examination of close female friendships, all of which sucked me into Sullivan’s writing when I first read her work.
Friends and Strangers is about the powerful but transitory nature of relationships, which has always fascinated me. I’m so intrigued by how people can go from being strangers to being friends to being your entire world – and then back to strangers again in a shorter amount of time than you’d ever think possible. Some of the marks people leave on our lives are indelible, while others are easily lost to the years.
Sullivan explores this messy, complicated, and bittersweet human dynamic in Friends and Strangers with sharp insight and brilliant humor. While there are various relationships criss-crossing throughout the novel, two of the most prominent “friends and strangers” examples are the firm-and-fast bond that sprouts up between middle-aged mom Elisabeth and college senior Sam, and the comforting yet confining relationship between Sam and her older boyfriend Clive. (Note: not “creepy older” in a My Dark Vanessa way. Just older.)
I sympathized with Elisabeth and empathized with Sam, and, well, I kinda felt a little bad for Clive, too.
Sam brought me right back to my college years. When I was in college, I also dated an older man who, like Clive, was ready for marriage and kids and all that that it brings. I could totally relate to Sam’s conflicting feelings about wanting to be in a mature relationship, yet constantly wondering what you’re missing out on by being with someone in such a difference place in life than you. Ugh! All the feels for Sam.
And, although I’m not a mom, I am in my late 30s, living in the suburbs, communicating with most of my friends via text or phone calls, and have enough mom-friends to understand the exhausting toll that motherhood takes on Elisabeth in the story. Elisabeth’s honest, snarky response to how her life has turned out had me chortling gleefully throughout the book. I’m sure readers who are moms will appreciate this character and her musings.
Despite the differeces in age, social standing, life path, and so much else, the bond formed between Elisabeth and Sam is completely believable. Elisabeth serves as the perfect example of what Sam thinks she wants — of what Sam thinks her life could be if she takes the “Clive Path” – and Sam is a chance for Elisabeth to reminisce about all that lay before her when she was in her early 20s. I loved the interplay between these two characters, including how their relationship oddly parallels Clive and Sam’s.
The ending of Friends and Strangers made the book for me. I like unclean endings, or untraditional endings. Realistic endings. Ones that make you frown and go, Wait, that shouldn’t be right... As much as I love books to escape the real world, I love seeing the real world reflected in them, too.
Have you read Friends and Strangers, or any other of Sullivan’s books? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
And, be sure to check back in for my book-inspired recipe: Sunday Night Chicken Dinner.
