A Well-Read Tart

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Writer Life Update: Query Letters and “Showing vs Telling”

Journal and Laptop

So, YEAH. My writer life has taken a little bit of an unexpected turn.

I had originally planned to use January to write the rest of my second novel, which I started working on in the fall. I’d been making steady progress on it, but once the holiday season hit, there was just no time for writing. Since I was “taking off” from the blog in January, I figured I’d devote the month to writing the rest of my foodie fiction/rom-com story.

But, that’s not what happened. Here’s a little update on what I’ve been doing instead:

QUERY LETTER

I’m still trying to secure a literary agent for my first novel. Even though I got an agent to read my full manuscript over the summer, it was ultimately declined for representation. I’ve sent queries to a handful of additional agents since then, but I’ve not had any more nibbles.

By the end of December, I was admittedly feeling a little defeated. It’s been about two years since I wrote my novel. I know I’m the only one judging myself, but I feel a little embarrassed when people ask me how trying to get published is going and I have nothing new to tell them.

So, between feeling like a literary failure and the severe bout of blogger burnout that hit me at the end of 2019, I decided to take a break from all things writing until motivation struck again.

Then, the universe gave me a little nudge.

A few weeks into the new year, I got a lucky break: a soon-to-be-published author who I’m friendly with on Instagram (let’s call her X) reached out to me and offered to critique my query letter.

JACKPOT. Having an author review and give feedback on my query letter is like winning a lottery. Since X has successfully landed an agent and publisher with her pitch, she’s in a great position to offer me insight on mine.

I’ve been wondering for awhile if I’m not landing a literary agent because a) my query letter sucks, or b) my manuscript isn’t as great as I think it is.

Turns out…it’s a little bit of both.

X’s critique of my query letter was incredibly helpful. I’ve always felt that it isn’t “trade-y” enough. Or, as X so aptly put it, “hook-y.” The whole point of a query is to “hook” the agent, and while I’m giving a nice little description of my novel, I haven’t been grabbing agents’ attention and making them want to read my sample pages.

X not only gave me great advice about how to make my query letter “hook-y,” she gave me examples of what I should be writing instead. This blew everything wide open for me, and I realized, at long last, how I should approach a query letter.

X, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU.

So, I’m currently revising my query letter for what I hope will be the last time.

MY NOVEL

Concurrently, I’ve made a huge decision to…revise my first novel. This is based off of 1) the comments I received from the literary agent back in August, and 2) comments from a few other test readers I’ve given my manuscript to.

It’s now been brought to my attention that a good half of my novel falls into the classic newbie author trap of “telling” instead of “showing.”

If you’re now going “what the eff does that mean??” — well, join the freakin’ club. For the past 5 months or so, I’ve been clueless about what this problem is and how to remedy it. The criticism kept being thrown at me — “you’re telling, not showing” — but no one would/could elaborate on it.

In another stroke of luck, I stumbled across across this YouTube video from iWriterly, which led me to this video, and, BOOM! Once again, the whole thing was blown wide open. I finally understood the concept of “showing vs telling.”

If you’re a writer struggling with “showing vs telling,” I heartily recommend checking out those two videos. For those of you who aren’t writerly but are now curious about this whole thing, here it is in a nutshell:

“Showing” creates atmosphere and draws the reader into the story. Example: “Her nose turned pink in the frosty air.” This creates a strong visual and sucks the reader in.

“Telling” plainly informs the reader what’s happening or how a character is feeling, leaving the reader less engaged with the story. Example: “She felt cold.” This tells you exactly what the main character is feeling and leaves nothing to the imagination of the reader.

Apparently, “telling instead of showing” happens to be a HUGE deterrent for most literary agents. And, I totally get why.

Aaaaaand, if I take a good look at my first few chapters – which I’ve been using as the writing samples I send to agents – I admit that they could use a little work in the “showing” department.

So, I’m in the process of revising about half of my first novel, and, of course, going over the other half with a more critical eye. While I’m revising, I’m obviously putting a hold on sending out new queries.

BLOG

And, finally, of course I’ve been working on the blog. I took about a month off from writing book reviews and creating book-inspired recipes, but I got back at it mid-January, and now I’m ready with fresh new content for the first half of 2020.

Thanks for tuning in, Tartlets! Writers, I hope this was helpful for you about writing “hooky” query letters and learning about “showing vs telling.” And, non-writers, as usual, thanks for putting up with me.

What are your writing goals for 2020? Are you working on a novel? Are you trying to get an agent or publisher? Or, are you starting a blog of your own? I’d love to hear about them!

4 thoughts on “Writer Life Update: Query Letters and “Showing vs Telling”

  1. Love your honesty and perseverence. On that alone, you will secure an agent and be on your way. I too am waiting for feedback on a submission. It’s been 9 days and I know it could take weeks. It’s torture, isn’t it… 🙂 Wishing you all the very best with your querys and submissions and with your second book.

    1. Hi, Janice! I’m wishing you lots of luck as you wait to hear back on your submission! It’s such a nerve-wracking time, but I hope it ends with you getting really good news. 🙂 What is your book about? Thanks so much for your kind words and well wishes on my own writing and publishing journey.

  2. Hi, you obviously really want to do this, so can I tell you a writing secret? Choose a book similar to yours and rewrite your ideas from your first novel following paragraph structure, chapter structure (ensuring there is symmetry) and dialogue lay out. Do not plagiarize a single word, every word must be yours, but fit them into the sentences using the same rhythm and syntax as the template.
    Secondly, study fairy tales and look at the way objects are used symbolically, and the function of the archetypes, for example what does the old woman do? What does the wife tell the husband not to do? For example, do not open this locked cupboard. Find ways to take the symbolic themes in myths such as the Persephone myth, and adjust them to fit the style and genre of your story. When you describe a room, if there is an apple or a pomegranate, or a key in the room, a blue flower etc these can be used to foreshadow events without telling the reader. Show don’t tell, is more subtle than just playing it out instead of stating it. You need to use symbolic objects and archetypes. Look at Vladimir Propp’s Morphology of the Folktale and plan your story using the plot functions, symbols and archetypes in his index.
    I did this and an agent just told me she has skipped my full manuscript to the top of her pile and sent me an email address to keep in touch while I wait. She also used the word “wowsers.” A publisher is also considering my full manuscript . There is a formula. It’s called narrative theory. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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