Heat olive oil and butter in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until butter melts and starts to foam, about 1 minute.
Add the shallot and fennel seed. Saute about 5 minutes, until the shallot is softened and translucent.
Add the red pepper flakes and, if using, the garlic, and saute for 1 additional minute until fragrant.
Add tomatoes, wine, and salt, and bring mixture to a simmer.
Add the shrimp to the pot, then carefully slide the mussels and clams into the pot. Toss to coat the shells with some of the sauce, and then cover the pot and cook 4-6 minutes, until the shellfish start to open.
Use tongs to remove the shrimp and the opened mussels and clams to a large bowl, keeping them warm on the stove. Move the remaining shellfish around the pot, then cover again for another 2 minutes. Repeat process until all opened shellfish are in the large bowl. Discard any shellfish that do not open.
Turn off the heat and carefully slide the shrimp and all opened mussels and clams back into pot. Toss to cover with sauce, and then sprinkle 1 tbsp of the chopped parsley and garnish with half the lemon wedges.
Remove pot from heat and ladle shellfish, shrimp, and sauce into four bowls. Garish each bowl using 1 tbsp of chopped parsley and remaining lemon wedges. Serve with garlic toast for dipping.